i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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