i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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