she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
you will always have a special place in my vag
tequila makes me forget i have legs
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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