he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
