i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
