im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
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i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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