She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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