Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
