It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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