wakey wakey hands off snakey
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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