I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Success! We fucked roommates!
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