i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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