sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
4 words: hood of his car
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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