If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
