just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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