My sheets look like a crime scene.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
