Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
