I think I died a long time ago.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I take back everything I said about communal showers
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
