dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
