Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
