Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
