we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
