whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
