I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
