Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
