I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
