That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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