I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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