You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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