reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
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This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
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Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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