..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
