I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
FUCK WHALES
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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