im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize