Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
