i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
