Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
