I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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