I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
