So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
