I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I am spending my child support on dildos
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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