Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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