last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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