Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
