i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
