do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
