she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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