I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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