you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
