Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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