i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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