Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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