I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
