I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
