Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.

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(214): View more from Texas

New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.

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(330): View more from Ohio

he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.

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(347): View more from New York

He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(973): View more from New Jersey

You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?

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(616): View more from Michigan

All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.

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(773): View more from Illinois

I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.

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(518): View more from New York

I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing

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(512): View more from Texas

im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.

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