Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)

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  (248): yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did) http://tfl.nu/wp6c
  Replies (3) Good night (1352) Bad night (534)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent

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  (717): i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent http://tfl.nu/5817
  Replies (18) Good night (697) Bad night (4929)
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  (631): View more from New York

  There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12

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  (631): There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12 http://tfl.nu/d4y2
  Replies (27) Good night (5135) Bad night (1522)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.

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  (865): I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this. http://tfl.nu/mix4
  Replies (15) Good night (5214) Bad night (834)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...

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  (408): I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal... http://tfl.nu/6umq
  Replies (4) Good night (842) Bad night (3037)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone

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  (631): You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone http://tfl.nu/0bcu
  Replies (4) Good night (4372) Bad night (941)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea

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  (516): In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea http://tfl.nu/v7d1
  Replies (21) Good night (1419) Bad night (5166)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...

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  (204): you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back... http://tfl.nu/izou
  Replies (17) Good night (2337) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.

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  (519): I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus. http://tfl.nu/vafe
  Replies (5) Good night (4752) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.

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  (419): There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself. http://tfl.nu/9p33
  Replies (3) Good night (761) Bad night (1131)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"

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  (971): He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors" http://tfl.nu/9vvt
  Replies (4) Good night (589) Bad night (930)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.

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  (847): Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations. http://tfl.nu/g9dw
  Replies (1) Good night (834) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.

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  (920): These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice. http://tfl.nu/xvwn
  Replies (0) Good night (650) Bad night (267)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.

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  (608): You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables. http://tfl.nu/khc5
  Replies (2) Good night (749) Bad night (236)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?

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  (617): How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it? http://tfl.nu/hmuk
  Replies (9) Good night (382) Bad night (642)

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