Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.