i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You need Xanax blowdarts
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize