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No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
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