Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest

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(267): After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest http://tfl.nu/54ul

Replies (41) Good night (28019) Bad night (1180)
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(404): View more from Georgia

there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his

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(404): there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his http://tfl.nu/p9g4

Replies (45) Good night (794) Bad night (6232)
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(339): View more from Massachusetts

He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

And you didn't burst into flames?

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(339): He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church. (1-203): And you didn't burst into flames? http://tfl.nu/aa0l

Replies (14) Good night (5425) Bad night (1131)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?

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(859): The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you? http://tfl.nu/o13h

Replies (8) Good night (3711) Bad night (851)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.

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(412): It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult. http://tfl.nu/japr

Replies (9) Good night (2083) Bad night (939)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.

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(920): She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future. http://tfl.nu/bxh5

Replies (7) Good night (1527) Bad night (877)
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(+66): View more from Thailand

Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.

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(+66): Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees. http://tfl.nu/3h4e

Replies (10) Good night (2361) Bad night (732)
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(+61): View more from Australia

Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.

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(+61): Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on. http://tfl.nu/q17g

Replies (13) Good night (3479) Bad night (926)
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(907): View more from Alaska

I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.

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(907): I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks. http://tfl.nu/ytg5

Replies (2) Good night (987) Bad night (491)
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(816): View more from Missouri

So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta

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(816): So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta http://tfl.nu/t0pt

Replies (13) Good night (1656) Bad night (1113)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?

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(856): i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me? http://tfl.nu/5yrh

Replies (5) Good night (1353) Bad night (386)
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(806): View more from Texas

We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.

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(806): We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish. http://tfl.nu/et7p

Replies (3) Good night (548) Bad night (482)
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(559): View more from California

I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon

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(559): I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon http://tfl.nu/fvut

Replies (0) Good night (456) Bad night (592)
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(606): View more from Kentucky

Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you

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(606): Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you http://tfl.nu/pcwm

Replies (1) Good night (696) Bad night (322)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.

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(412): Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face. http://tfl.nu/ja8q

Replies (1) Good night (256) Bad night (484)

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