you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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