just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
