Texts From Last Night

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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast

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  (615): Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast http://tfl.nu/lexd
  Replies (12) Good night (833) Bad night (2078)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  so when am I gonna get some from you?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  when you dick grows 3 inches

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  (202): so when am I gonna get some from you? (617): when you dick grows 3 inches http://tfl.nu/rd2p
  Replies (74) Good night (2132) Bad night (9026)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"

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  (410): i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??" http://tfl.nu/civz
  Replies (43) Good night (1090) Bad night (15013)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday

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  (203): franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday http://tfl.nu/o3qe
  Replies (35) Good night (3489) Bad night (810)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  my phone cant type all the emotion im having

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  (203): my phone cant type all the emotion im having http://tfl.nu/rfn6
  Replies (6) Good night (1102) Bad night (3728)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself

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  (502): they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself http://tfl.nu/m9eg
  Replies (4) Good night (742) Bad night (2908)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay

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  (216): there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay http://tfl.nu/f4sg
  Replies (21) Good night (4004) Bad night (1769)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak

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  (217): Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak http://tfl.nu/5n5o
  Replies (12) Good night (2527) Bad night (1337)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better

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  (479): I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better http://tfl.nu/bldt
  Replies (7) Good night (2599) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  ...i wondered where i left that...

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  (732): please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong... (1-732): ...i wondered where i left that... http://tfl.nu/q7mv
  Replies (3) Good night (2545) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.

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  (870): I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that. http://tfl.nu/0bow
  Replies (21) Good night (811) Bad night (1270)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground

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  (252): We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground http://tfl.nu/v1ru
  Replies (9) Good night (2132) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.

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  (920): He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level. http://tfl.nu/rkz6
  Replies (1) Good night (547) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.

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  (781): Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios. http://tfl.nu/bgm6
  Replies (1) Good night (482) Bad night (306)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!

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  (253): My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone! http://tfl.nu/hbhd
  Replies (3) Good night (259) Bad night (302)

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