White coat. Heels.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
