i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
