I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
