She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I would fuck him just for his dog
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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