oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
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