hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
