Only a mothe r could love this liver
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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